As December came and went, a huge part of who I thought I was left with it. The New Year brings a rejuvenated sense of self, but for the first time in five years, weight was seriously lifted from financial burden, self-induced heartbreak, familial anxiety, and crushing lack of creative confidence. I don’t want to get into the sad stuff, because on the night of this NEW YEAR NEW MOON I feel quiet and relieved. Through these choppy transitions of dropping out of journalism school and carving out my own unique path of work and play, I sit here with newly opened yoga hips in one part pain, one part curiosity, one part relief, and one part rooted.
In these times of High growth and seeking out my power during our new year of the Earth Dog, my good friend Mimi Young (founder of CEREMONIE) led me light of creative spirit guides Alexandra Roxo and Ruby Warrington, the founders of the Moon Club, an all-female-round-the-world creative hub where we are shared multimedia, featuring guided rituals, digital magazines, how to support each other’s dreams, challenges, visions and epiphanies all in synchronicity of the moon phases. These guidances consist of weekly emails containing invites to live stream with Alexandra, astro and moon cycle tips from Ruby, and ways of being we should tap into.
During the course of moon phases, MOON CLUB members would share what’s going on in their lives via the private Facebook group, join in on the weekly workbook designed by Ruby, to tap into our callings. During the Sagittarius new moon, I was reminded to honour the ancestry of the Earth and to reach out for my wild desires this year. The Libra waning moon we just experienced brought a lot of singing, jamming, dancing and getting inspired by music with friends, but also a lot of crying, sleeping in, and working on rebuilding my aura that I have felt has been punctured by external negativity and fear.
This new moon has allowed me to declare my intentions for the following seasons, I am openly inviting abundance in love, wealth, and creations in all forms. I’m looking for new work, new projects, and a chance to claim what I threw to the wind. It’s the times where you aren’t mentally prepared to call someone out on their bullshit. Times when you don’t think you are allowed to stand your ground. In the gruelling process of trusting yourself above all costs, I have been welcomed by much needed and new management at work, affirming friendships with a strong collective of creative sistren, breaking away from family frustration and honouring those that protect me, and letting go of toxic, sexualized romanticism.
This last piece to the transition puzzle had done my soul in not once but twice in 2017. Patterns of accepting physical male attention as a sign of affection and trust was outdone by embarrassment that it was nothing more than two bodies slamming into one another. Then #metoo happened and I was triggered by pretty much every man I’ve ever sexually encountered. I have not been heard by many of these men, like really heard. Even though casual sex is not something I wanted on my radar, I still settled for it, because I thought it would grow into something more. Being vulnerable is the hardest thing to do because I’ll give in to the temptation more often than not, I’ll give in to thinking it’s something more. I’ll fantasize about where I’ll end up with said person, what we could build together. It’s not a crime to think these things, but it’s a much longer and complicated road than I could have imagined. It’s important to honour the pain I’ve self- endured and to wear it as a patch of respect. So the next man may know this fire woman water sign is nothing casual to fuck with.
Life is fun, strange, vast.
Thank you to Sabrina, Ruby, and Alexandra for all of your beautiful efforts on creating a digital moon community for womyn everywhere. ❤ Check out their dynamic site on how you can join MOON CLUB.