It’s come to my attention that some men are okay with waiting out a fling. Do you dig me? Could we do this horizontally now? What could possibly be this excruciating to see if you want to spend time together or not? Supposedly the ghosting phenomenon continues down the rabbit hole, and it could either go one of two ways, he tells you he thinks the fling should end here, or he doesn’t say anything at all.

When I hear the words “I’m dating someone”, it sounds like an arcade game. “I’m just trying to whack a mole”, for fuck sakes, we’re dealing with horny humans here. Maybe far away in the land of repulsive romance, getting to know someone is the ultimate gateway to love. To making something last, but it’s also a lot of compromise on my time, energy, and wardrobe at the moment. You think my sheer top is a cry for help? I guess you’ll take the 34C pushup with whiteout on her adidas. I understand in a world of uncertain economic prosperity and parallel reality TV universes, you want to set intention behind the people you meet and mingle with. There’s a lot of blasé to filter through, but if you’re spending time with a new person who might be infatuated with your hands, you should learn how to be up front. It’s a scary thing, and I was not the kind of girl to speak up when I was 21. But if you want to be compared to a sophomore college girl, give your balls a shake and say something.

This is why as of recently I don’t really enjoy dates and kind of just want to massage my breasts in a kimono while I wait for him to get to my attic. Skip all of the small talk and let’s see what we can accomplish with our tongues. Dating means you have to follow someone on their emotional wave, their social presence, smile and nod the whole lot. Dating has also recently become more like tour guiding, with Vancouver being such an international hub in amazing ways, I also have realized I like a man who’s got it figured out. Maybe I sound like a diva, but I’m genuinely submissive most of the time, and I know what gets me going. If you cant follow along, I’d appreciate some beginner vocabulary.