The past few weeks of the New Year have left me feeling curious, unsure, and adventurous. An unexpected break up and a heavy workload over the season caused me to lose myself. Desire is an emotion like any other, it is normally stemming from something that may as well be a polar opposite situation. I felt like I was giving parts of myself that I wasn’t getting back, but to an extent I didn’t mind and I coasted on that radar. It was comfortable and it soaked up my time, in a warm and sensual way.
I want to feel fearless, but sometimes that means having to do things on your own first. Creativity is complicated that way, it may offend your lover. Maybe I should start wearing a warning label.
These insecurities become the romantic mantra. Why are you having sex? What are you trying to gain in life at this time? Can you feel love without having to verbally say it to your partner? Are you still doubting yourself because you have in the past? Are you happy?
All these questions are muddled down into a smoothie you just can’t stomach all at once, and resulted in letting go of a romantic relationship. It was and always will be a hot romance, I hope to have it again, but wouldn’t it be better if you and your partner could be co-dependent in order to function? Convenient sleep-overs aren’t the answer. Living together is just not on the table. There has been an enormous modern breakthrough in how we maneuver our friendships, relationships. We need to give people the space and respect they all deserve, we need to be supportive even if we can’t be around each other. Embrace the distance and the little obstacles along the way, maybe it will bring you back together in ways you never thought possible. Xx
*pic found on tumblr